If you're looking for an apartment with rampant mold, electric sockets that make you play Russian Roulette everytime you plug anything in, the oh so pleasant smell of cat urine and old gym socks, and walls so thin you can almost see through them...then this is the place for you!
Rent varies depending on the mood of the manager, so god speed with that and if you have the privilege of a first floor apartment get ready to hear every movement of your neighbors, I'm talking if they sneeze
...you're going to hear it. Also you have the added bonus of having your walls shake so hard everytime your wonderful neighbors shut their door that anything on a shelf or hanging from the wall comes crashing down, so much fun.
And let's not forget the fun of sporadic water heating whenever both you and your neighbors take a shower, flush the toilet, wash their hands...because who doesn't love scalding hot to freezing cold showers within a five minute period? Oh, and if you're over 5'4" you'll soon learn to appreciate the benefits of squating/bending over backwards whilst showering in order to fit under the shower head. Your glutes will thank you while your olfactory senses will sing your praises from the odiferous aroma of twenty years of renters culinary concoctions festering in your high quality circa 1980 garbage disposal. I mean, vintage is the new cool.
You'll also love that the manager can parade her menagerie of dogs past your door leaving little trinkets of dinners past, while you're banned from having such furry friends. If that's not enough, the absolute lovely hue of black mold in your bathroom is sure to set the mood. Management may come and fix it, and by fix it I mean paint over it, but hey who needs healthy lungs?
Love your car? Well so will the transients and vandals that hang out after hours reconditioning your car to standing on blocks only, because waking up to a tireless car is the absolute best good morning a renter can have.
Get a bit lonely at times? Well fret no more! The abundance of pincher bugs, fruit flies, and swarms of house flies will never let you feel alone again! But the plexiglass windows and cheap plastic blinds give you the added peace of hearing even the crickets walk by your apartment, because privacy and peace and quiet are so overrated.
Fine living at around $950 a month, but that may fluctuate due to management's amazing temperament!! Cheers and good luck to you
Max of 2.