For many people, the closest they come to New Orleans is watching The Princess and the Frog or that episode of The Simpsons where Marge stars in a musical based on A Streetcar Named Desire. People with a more refined palate for entertainment may have actually seen A Streetcar Named Desire. The very crude may know New Orleans from the Mardi Gras special of Girls Gone Wild. Well, it's not the 20s or 40s anymore and the people of New Orleans would rather you forget that song that describes their city as "The Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip." Also, indecent exposure is actually much frowned on, even during Mardi Gras. My husband went to New Orleans when he was a teenager. He found a street magician amusing and bought a pack of trick cards from him. In any big city, you're bound to run into someone looking to make a quick buck with what talents they have. I'm Melissa and this is your insider's guide to New Orleans.
Where to Eat
My husband's favorite place to eat in New Orleans was the Hard Rock Cafe. True, it's a chain restaurant that serves typical diner fare, but it's good diner fare, and it is also something of a pop culture museum. Appropriately for the city, among their collection is a Dr. Teeth puppet. (Jim Henson based this Muppet character on New Orleans jazz musician Dr. John.) Of course, what anyone comes to New Orleans for is to eat Creole and Cajun food. One thing to remember about Louisiana cuisine is that it's called crawfish, not crawfish. No matter what your spellcheck tells you.
You won't be able to swing a raccoon without hitting a place that serves Cajun/Creole, but the best place to go in New Orleans is Zesty Creole. The name says it all! They got the po boys, the shrimp, the gumbo, the jambalaya, the crawfish and beignets for dessert. Even alligator is on the menu! (Tastes like very succulent chicken.) If you prefer chicken, try McKenzie's Chicken in a Box. There's shrimp, crab, oysters and fish (most likely cod) on the menu, but chicken is what everyone comes for. The food is fresh and tasty with a friendly staff and low prices, plus bulk prices if you need food for a party. If you want a place to just get a drink while listening to some swinging jazz, try The Dew Drop Inn, a recently renovated historical area. It's also a hotel with a pool. Try their signature martini!
Where to Fish
While New Orleans is famous for seafood restaurants, you won't be left out if you want to catch and cook your own. If you like redfish, trout, black drum, bass or catfish, Lake Pontchartrain is open all year for the catching. Despite the name, the 600 miles of brackish water is actually an estuary where you may find both freshwater and saltwater catches. If you want some huge speckled trout or giant blue catfish, you can fish from the Causeway Bridge, the world's longest overwater bridge. (Wear a life vest just in case.)
The north and south shores have docks should you have a boat you want to try your luck in. Boat rentals are available. If you want to catch shrimp, try Sunset Point. You might even catch a shark! There are picnic tables with grills near the lake if you just can't wait until you get home to cook up your catch. You can also fish the Mighty Mississippi for big freshwater game fish like catfish, largemouth bass, and freshwater drum. If you prefer shellfish, try Shell Beach and Lafitte. Boaters should keep in mind that personal flotation devices are mandatory in Louisiana waters.
Where to Play
The famous Harrah's Casino has since been sold to Vici Properties, who changed the name to Caesars. As it is illegal to smoke indoors in a building open to the public in New Orleans, the days of the smoke-filled club, casino or bar are long gone. If you must have a smoke while gambling, there are some slot machines at the patios. If you like to play the ponies, Fair Grounds Race Course is the place to go. If you need playtime that's more child-friendly, take the kids to McDonough Playground or Altitude Trampoline Park.
If you play golf or tennis or just want a nice long walk among the oldest oaks in the country, try Audubon Park. City Park hosts, among other things, Carousel Gardens Amusement Park, home of the "Flying Horses", one of the oldest working carousels in the U.S. The young and young at heart will find amusement in the fairy-tale-themed sculptures in Storyland. Bird watchers will enjoy Brechtel Park. If you like camping or just a day at the beach, Fontainbleau State Park is on the shore of Lake Ponchartrain.
Where to Learn
It's not all shrimp gumbo and zydeco! Tulane University is an R1 doctoral university dedicated to research and community-based education. Their motto "Non sibi sed suis." translates as "Not for one's self but for one's own." The New Orleans Public Library has every viewing, reading or listening medium available plus a tutoring service for students. The Alvar Street branch is highly recommended and the Nix branch was most recently renovated. The library hosts collections of stamps, postcards, menus and other historical memorabilia that give little snapshots of what New Orleans was once like.
There are a great number of museums in New Orleans, The National WWII Museum being a favorite with history buffs. It houses more than 250,000 artifacts including weapons, uniforms, photographs and letters. Fully restored aircraft including B-17 Flying Fortress and a Douglas C-47 Skytrain can be found in the pavilion. If you want something immersive (to pardon the pun) there is a recreation of the USS Tang submarine where guests can take part in a mission simulation. The New Orleans Museum of Art (known as the NOMA) is home to 50,000 works of art and a lovely sculpture garden. Their Art Thrives program provides artistic workshops for senior citizens.
Would you like to see something uniquely Louisianan? Try The Great American Alligator Museum! It looks like a small shop on Magazine Street, but it's where you'll learn everything you ever wanted to know about alligators. It has a collection of alligator-themed knick-knacks, fossils, artwork, Native American artifacts and historic memorabilia, plus a taxidermy gator named Fideaux. Perhaps you'd like to know more about New Orleans' spooky side. In the French Quarter is a shop and cultural center called Voodoo Authentica where you can learn about the mysterious and often misunderstood Voodoo tradition. If your interest in New Orleans stems from the writings of Anne Rice, perhaps you would like to arrange a Ghost Tour through Cajun Encounters. This bus tour is at night for a thrilling atmosphere. But don't worry, you'll be quite safe. Physically.
Where to Watch
The oldest still operating movie theater in New Orleans is the Prytania, now with a second location. It blends vintage charm and modern convenience with its chandeliered lobby and state-of-the-art projection and sound system. They show classics on Sunday and Wednesday morning and once a month they host a Rocky Horror Picture Show viewing with a live shadow cast. Dress up in fishnets and bring some rice! (Skip the red beans, though.)
The famous Superdome, now known as Caesars Superdome thanks to a naming rights deal with Caesars Entertainment, is the home stadium of the New Orleans Saints. It is the place in New Orleans to watch football, baseball, basketball, pro wrestling, rodeo and a host of other sports. It's also a popular concert venue and space for other large-scale events.
If you like looking at exotic animals, the Audubon Zoo has a wide variety of exhibitions that are both educational and entertaining. They have an aviary, a herpetarium, a sea lion theater and a waterpark open in the summer. Said waterpark is near the elephant pavilion, so don't be surprised if Jean, Jothi or Surapa try to join in on the fun! If you like watching fish, penguins and sea turtles, check out the Audubon Aquarium. If you didn't get enough of alligators at the Great American Alligator Museum, they have some rare white alligators in a swamp habitat. Included in admission to the aquarium is admission to the Audubon Insectarium where you can learn about butterflies, bees and pink katydids. A joke goes that Louisiana zoos have a recipe next to each exhibit. Generally, the Audubon is dedicated to species conservation, but at Bug Appetite you can sample edible insects, if your palate is adventurous enough.
If you prefer to watch native birds in a wild habitat, Collins Park Bird Sanctuary is the place to go to see cardinals, mockingbirds, mourning doves and, if you're lucky, a red-eyed vireo. For fans of live theater, there is the Joy Theater and The Orpheum. Joy Theater first opened in the 40's as a movie theater but has been converted to house live shows. The Orpheum is a popular venue for live shows including concerts, ballet, opera and plays as well as weddings and Mardi Gras balls. If you like classical music, it is home to the Louisiana Philharmonic Orchestra.
Where to Shop
Forget the "tacky overpriced souvenir stores"! Here are the good places to shop. When you're in New Orleans, who needs a mall when you've got Magazine Street? This six-mile stretch in the Lower Garden District has every kind of store or eatery you could think of, plus a few surprises. If you're a lady who likes simple elegance that looks like a million bucks without spending a million bucks Monomin is the boutique for you. They sell unique dresses and the accessories to go with them.
The gentleman of taste can rent or buy a tuxedo from Perlis or just get a dapper business suit for white collar work. If you're not that refined and just want something to watch the Saints in, they got that too. Know how some collared shirts will have a little crocodile or polo player on a horse embroidered on the wearer's left? The logo for Perlis is a crawfish!
If you want some shoes to go with your new outfit, head over to Chartres Street and visit Shoe Be Do. They have bold and trendy styles for the classy shoe aficionado. If you go over to Royal Street, you'll find Keil's Antiques. This where to go if what you like is vintage jewelry, crystal chandeliers and strange and unusual objects. Also on Royal Street is Forever New Orleans where you can find the perfect curio to commemorate your visit to the city. If you're in the market for something to read, Octavia Books has staff that knows their merchandise and a science fiction club if that's what interests you.
Where to Get Help
As healthcare is the largest employer in Louisiana, you'll have no problem finding help if you're sick or hurt. In New Orleans, University Medical Center is the place to go for medical help, particularly stroke, burns and trauma. Mid City Smiles is a highly rated dentistry endorsed by the New Orleans Pelicans. Eyes on Canal provides personalized optometry services. If it's your car that needs fixing, Boudreaux's Automotive is the place to go. If you need a lawyer for a civil case, the Louisiana Bar Foundation might be able to get you someone to work pro bono.
The Rest
If you want the guided tour of New Orleans, Cajun Encounters will have a package to suit you, whether you want to see swamps, plantations, distilleries or just want to know exactly what you're looking at when you stroll the streets of the French Quarter. Music fans will want to check out the Jazz Walk of Fame.
In Conclusion
It has been established that New Orleans is not "Putrid, brackish, maggoty, foul." as a song from The Simpsons tried to defame it. Well, Lake Pontchartrain is on the brackish side, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Truth is, you'll pass a good time if you know where to look!
